Some people say you’ll feel every second of death when it finds you; that you’ll see death watching you and you’ll know. But I didn’t, it was weird really I never ever expected it to happen to me. I was on top of the world the week before it happened; I’d just been announced Prom Queen, I was head of the cheerleading squad at my school and I had the most popular, handsome boy as my other half, I had my Daniel… And then bam I’m dead. Sucks doesn’t it?
Well it wasn’t that quick but I don’t really remember all the gory details; sometimes I wish I didn’t remember any of it, but I remember some of it. It all started when my beautiful little car broke down. My car’s a little ford fiesta and I love her to bits when she isn’t breaking down on me, so I’d say overall I love my car about fifty percent of the time. She especially loves breaking down if you go more than fifty… I can’t even go on a motorway without my little beauty breaking down on me.
Well anyway I’m rambling let’s get back to my car breaking down. It was a late Tuesday night and I could see the black/grey clouds moving closer towards me and my little beauty as she coughed and died. I went to ring the good old AA but my phone had died, just my luck I remembered thinking. I was in the middle of nowhere and the rain had started to fall. I was stranded and it was my little cars fault. I locked my car and started to trek to my house. I was about two miles away from my house and had no money for the passing taxi’s or buses. I carried on walking and was about half a mile away from my street when it happened. That’s when I died. Yeah, it really does suck. Like I was almost at the finish line and then bang it’s snatched away from me.
It’s such a clique too. Something you’d expect to see on a movie. See the thing was I was mugged. But the guy just got too scared and then one mistake and dead simple. I died. Shot in the chest. I think it hurt. I don’t remember all of it. I remember feeling shocked and I think the mugger was too. He was only a kid. He looked about my age… maybe younger. I don’t hate him for it. I mean why should I blame him? I blame myself… I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The rest I do remember though. I remember waking up on the side of the road with a mixture of flashing blue and red lights around me. I got up and looked around and saw a paramedic near me I walked over to him and asked him what had happened. But he looked straight through me and walked away. I can remember trying to talk to him again but then the weirdest thing happened. He stared straight through me and then… he walked straight through me. It feels weird when people do that. It’s kind of like an itch or a tickle but it makes me feel a little lightheaded and dizzy. Well let’s just say it’s not the greatest feeling.
Anyway getting back to the paramedic… he walked straight through me! I stood there in shock then looked to where the paramedic had just gone. He was walking to the ambulance and getting into the back. I followed him and climbed into the back. There was a figure covered with a sheet and I pulled the sheet but my hand just went through the sheet. The paramedic lifted the blanket as the ambulance started and he sighed. The other paramedic spoke to him briefly. Saying she was young. Had her parents been rung? I stood there frozen with fear to look at the form which was now on show. I took a deep breath and glanced over and let out a cry of pain. I looked down at my own face. My eyes were closed and my hair was soaked from the rain, my lips were bloody and there were scraps on my chin.
Time seemed to quicken as I stared at my prone form. I followed my body as it was rushed into the hospital by the paramedics. I was placed in a room and the doctor ripped open my jacket and I stared down at the hole in my chest. I looked down at myself and saw nothing which resembled what I was seeing in front of me. The doctors were covered in my blood before I had chance to count to twenty. I watched as they worked over my still form apparently my heart beat was slowing. My pulse was fading.
I decided to leave the doctors to it. Why should I watch myself die? I think I should have stayed where I was though because as I left the room I heard an anguish cry of pain from the waiting room. I ran over as I heard the familiar sounds of my father’s voice. He was comforting my mother. I tried to tell her I was ok but of course she couldn’t hear me. She couldn’t seem to hear my father either. She just sat there crying and crying. I couldn’t bear to witness this and it got just that much more painful when Daniel came running into the room. He stood there looking as breathtaking as usual but there was a sadness to his whole stance. He looked at my parents and my mother got up and threw her arms around him. He stood there composed but I could see how he was shaking.
That’s when I tried to hug him. Tried to comfort him. He asked if he could see me. But no one said anything. I sat there screaming at the top of my lungs but the worst thing about being dead is that no one can actually hear you. I sat in a heap letting my tears fall. I was truly dead I think it dawned on me then. But no the doctors were trying to bring me back. I started to go to my room when the doctor came into the waiting room in fresh scrubs – I guess not to alarm my parents – and he took them to me. I followed them and placed my hand on Daniels. Of course it just went straight through his hand.
The doctor led them all to my hospital room. I lay there looking cleaner than I had been the last time I’d seen me. I had my eyes closed still and I lay there and looked peaceful. The only difference was there was no sound coming from the heart monitor it read zero. My mother fell to the ground crying my name and my father fell with her hugging her tight to his chest. Daniel stood there for a long moment then walked towards where I lay. He bent down and kissed me forehead. He whispered something in my ear and I leaned over to hear him. He whispered three words he’d never spoken to me when I was alive.
‘I love you.’
I watched as he moved away and saw his eyes fill with tears and he silently cried over my lost life. I slowly walked over to him and hugged him willing my arms to hold him. I whispered into his ear when my arms failed.
‘I love you too.’
